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In those moments when we love life with every cell of our being, we
experience our greatest joy. We've all seen that joyful shimmer radiating
from a baby's body, shining from a child's face with pure delight.
What happens to us over the years? How do we "lose that loving
feeling"? How can we return to our original Eden of joy?
These questions have guided my life's search. The answer that keeps
coming up most consistently is "fear." Fear (anxiety) blocks the
experience of joy. More precisely, it is our response to fear that is the
problem.
What's the first thing we do in response to fear? We judge. We have
been taught to judge. (Have you ever met a judgmental baby?)
"This should not be happening." "You are wrong." "I did something bad."
Our judging only creates more fear and more defenses that block love from
reaching us.
Nonjudging (acceptance) is the path to peace. Jesus, as well as other
great spiritual teachers, was very clear about how to find freedom from
judgment's double-edged sword: "Judge not, that ye be not judged."
How can we break this all-too-human habit of judging? Try an experiment
today: Notice the judgments that arise in response to events without
becoming attached to them. Then release your judgments and enjoy the
serenity that comes with unconditional acceptance. It is this spirit of
acceptance that ushers us into the paradise of the present moment -- the
simple delight in "what is".
The challenge, of course, comes when we encounter a threat to our
well-being such as illness, pain, relationship problems or financial
difficulties. How can we accept these without judging? Aren't they
obviously "bad"?
One of the most challenging assaults to serenity is intense chronic
pain. Darlene Cohen, author of Finding a Joyful Life in the Heart of Pain,
suffers from crippling arthritis that affects every joint in her body. "I
was caught on the hook, and I realized that 'this is my life'; I can
either remain unconscious or come into it and live this life." By
practicing awareness and acceptance, Darlene found that "tendrils of
pleasure began creeping into my hell."
A college student I have been counseling completed the past academic
year successfully while battling anxiety and terrifying panic attacks.
With growing courage and compassion she is learning to face her anxiety
and accept the inner life of the emotions without judgment. This summer
she discovered the poems of Rumi, a thirteenth century mystic, and sent me
one that had spoken to her. It brought me comfort the day I received it
and I'd like to share it with you.
The Guest House
(translated by Coleman Barks, The Essential Rumi)
"This being human is a guest-house,
Every morning a new arrival.
A joy, a depression, a meanness,
Some momentary awareness comes
As an unexpected visitor.
Welcome and entertain them all!
…treat each guest honorably…
The dark thought, the shame, the malice,
meet them at the door laughing,
and invite them in.
Be grateful for whoever comes,
because each has been sent
As a guide from beyond."
Another Rumi poem, a favorite of mine, begins with the stark
observation:
"Today, like every other day, I wake up empty and frightened."
So Rumi, too, was anxious. He learned to accept his anxiety (and even
proclaim it to the world in his poetry) instead of judging it as something
bad. Accepting his existential angst, he used anxiety to become more
aware, more radically alive!
Read more articles by Robert Gerzon online at:
http://www.gerzon.com |