How to have all the time in the world
By Robert Gerzon
It is all too easy to become so overcommitted that every day becomes an
experience of "too much." We instinctively resist recognizing our limits
because to do so triggers our suppressed Sacred Anxiety. We like to
pretend we have unlimited potential and that we will live forever. Yet in
reality we have limited energy and a finite lifespan.
Admitting we can’t do it all today is admitting we won’t be able to have
it all and do it all during this lifetime either.
Perhaps the most common complaint I hear from my clients is that they
"don’t have enough time." Several commentators, including the physicians
Larry Dossey and Stephan Rechtschaffen, have written extensively about the
effect of "time sickness" on our physical and mental health. Modern "rushoholics"
are always racing, always out of breath, always feeling "behind schedule,"
always striving but seldom managing to "get ahead." The stressful impact
of this way of life on the neurohormonal, digestive and cardiovascular
systems is immediate.
When we are playing "beat the clock," time is our enemy and every
second becomes fraught with anxiety. In the daily ticking of the clock we
hear our anxiety about both life and death. Even closer to home, our
heartbeat signals our aliveness, while the silence between beats reminds
us of our mortality.
Time is running after us, ready to devour us if we "fall behind." Time
is out in front, promising us relief if we can just "catch up" with it.
Our anxious, time-hounded existence gives rise to both a feverish
beat-the-clock mentality and the rebellious reaction we call
procrastination. We dread "running out of time." We experience time as a
scarce commodity; even people who are financially wealthy often suffer
from "time poverty."
Existentially we know that one day we will truly run out of time. Death
is the ultimate deadline, the dreaded Day of Judgment. In our heart of
hearts, we dread that we may be found wanting, not quite "good enough" at
the end of the day, at the end of our life, at the end of time.
Such an existence is antithetical to spiritual growth. To use anxiety
for spiritual growth, we need to be willing to look within, to liberate
ourselves from the pressured sense that there is "not enough time." We may
choose to return to the joyful attitude that is expressed so exuberantly
by the psalmist:
"This is the day the Lord hath made; we will rejoice and be glad in
it."
Today is this unique, miraculous, once-in-a-lifetime day we are living,
and it is also the eternal day in which we live forever. We can change our
"time sense" to a far more serene concept of time that includes an
awareness of timelessness, of having all the time in the world,
because we (in the larger sense of our universal soul) do have "all the
time in the world." Having the security of eternity allows us to relax
enough to appreciate the preciousness of each fleeting moment. This day we
are living is precious and unique in the history of the universe and will
never come again. It invites us to live with full awareness and full
gratitude, giving it everything we have.
Robert Grudin eloquently described living in harmony with time in his
book, Time and the Art of Living:
"Happiness may well consist primarily of an attitude toward time.
Individuals we consider happy commonly seem complete in the present. We
see them constantly in their wholeness: attentive, cheerful, open rather
than closed to events, integral in the moment rather than distended across
time by regret or anxiety...One almost feels that their lives possess a
kind of qualified eternity: that past and future, birth and death, meet
for them as in the completion of a circle."
This more serene sense of time allows us to take the time we need to
deepen our awareness of our inner life, to nourish our spiritual nature --
to breathe deeply and luxuriously in the midst of a busy morning, to enjoy
a quiet Sunday afternoon sitting, reflecting and journal writing.
The antidote to the "too much" syndrome is humility: resigning from
playing God and admitting our limitations. A vital component of human
freedom is the ability to say "no" to certain possibilities and say "yes"
to others. What most of us need to say "yes" to more frequently is our own
need for solitude and repose. The secret to living successfully in an age
of "too much" is the ability to let go and "fall apart creatively."
Most of us instinctively tighten up under stress. The busier it gets, the
faster we go; the more there is to do, the more we try to do, all the
while feeling overwhelmed and fearful we'll "fall apart" under the strain.
Falling apart creatively means learning to let go earlier and
more often instead of waiting until we feel resentful or collapse and get
sick.
I advise my clients (including my most recalcitrant client, myself) to
take fifteen or twenty minutes during a busy "too-much" day, and instead
of striving to "keep it all together," letting it all "fall apart." We can
breathe out the responsibilities, the stress, the self-importance, and
simply let go. We can reconnect with our higher power and the infinite
universe. Afterwards, with our batteries recharged, we can return to the
tasks at hand with renewed vigor and alertness. By redirecting our stress
reaction from tightening to letting go, we avoid the physiological damage
of prolonged stress and cultivate our spiritual life.
Taking time to honor the inner life of the soul has always been important,
but never has it been more important than in today’s non-stop society. The
ancient advice to "honor the Sabbath and keep it holy" reminds us to
respect our need for a "day of rest" -- a time of repose and reconnection.
Paradoxically, the same "too-much syndrome" that forces us to recognize
our limitations may also inspire us to search for the boundless and the
infinite.
Sometime this month why not take the poet Walt Whitman's advice to
"loaf and invite your soul."
Robert Gerzon
77 Bolton St, Concord, MA 01742 • 978.369.3539
www.gerzon.com
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